The Things We Keep Making Harder Than They Need to Be

The Extra Degree of Difficulty

How many things do we make harder simply because we've decided the harder way says something good about us?

I have a chores dilemma.

Not a particularly interesting one, either.

There are things around the house and ranch that need to be done. Feed to scoop. Buckets to fill. Things to carry, clean, move, put away and inevitably do all over again tomorrow.

None of this is new.

For years, my answer to most of it has been pretty simple: I’ll do it.

If I know how to do a task, and I am physically capable of handling it, asking someone else to take it on feels a little ridiculous. Paying someone can feel even more so.

Why would I spend money on a job I can perfectly well do myself?

Except lately, I've started to wonder whether Can I do it? is actually the right question.

When “I Can Do It” Gets Complicated

The heart attack complicated that a little.

There are things I used to do without giving them much thought that now require me to stop and consider whether I should do them, how much energy they'll take, or whether I'm going to spend the rest of the day paying for the decision.

I don't particularly enjoy that calculation.

There is something deeply satisfying about being capable. I like knowing I can figure things out. I like being resourceful. I like doing things myself.

Those aren't qualities I particularly want to lose.

And if I'm being fair, sometimes my resistance to asking for help has less to do with the chore itself and more to do with what asking seems to admit.

That something changed.

But something did change.

That doesn't make me less capable. It may just mean capable looks a little different now.

Maybe capable is knowing how to do something.

Maybe it's also knowing when doing it yourself isn't the best use of what you have to give.

The Extra Degree of Difficulty

And this is where I suspect my chores dilemma isn't really about chores at all.

How many things do we make harder simply because we've decided the harder way says something good about us?

We carry all the grocery bags in one trip.

We spend an hour figuring out something someone else could solve in ten minutes.

We keep doing the job we've always done because technically, we still can.

We tell ourselves we're being independent or frugal or responsible.

Sometimes we are.

And sometimes we're just making life unnecessarily difficult.

Harder Doesn't Mean Better

I don't think the answer is to outsource every inconvenience or stop doing things that require effort. There are plenty of hard things worth doing.

But perhaps difficulty doesn't deserve quite as much credit as we give it.

Doing something the hard way doesn't automatically make it more worthwhile.

Needing help doesn't erase everything you can do on your own.

And paying someone who is better, faster or simply available to do something doesn't mean you failed to do it yourself.

It means the thing got done.

Maybe There’s a Better Question

Maybe that's what I'm learning.

The question isn't always:

Can I do this myself?

Of course I can.

I've proven that plenty of times.

Maybe the better question is:

Does this actually need to be this hard?

I have a feeling the answer, more often than I'd like to admit, is no.

Which means I may need to get a little better at accepting the easier answer when it's available.

Even if that answer occasionally comes with an hourly rate.

And maybe a little dent in my pride.